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Embracing Shame
- How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
- Narrated by: Carla Emmons
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
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Publisher's summary
Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
Critic reviews
“A few times in a lifetime a book comes along that opens up the dark recesses of our lives and illuminates the mysteries of human behavior, including why people act the way they do and why there is so much emotional suffering in the world. Embracing Shame by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin is such a book. It is engaging, transformative, and eye opening!”—Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, CEO of Focusing Resources and author of The Radical Acceptance of Everything
“Heartwarming, empowering, vulnerable, and brilliant. Every so often, a book comes along that will inspire your mind, touch your soul, and remind you that you are not alone. Embracing Shame by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon is a groundbreaking book that can help you break free of the chains of shame. Through stories, concrete practices, and research, Sheila and Bret bring us face-to-face with shame’s power to paralyze our lives while also offering a way out through embracing it.”—Albert Wong, PhD, director of the Trauma Certificate Program at Somatopia
“Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin have already transformed the trauma therapy field with their Healing Shame workshops. Now anybody who picks up this book can benefit from their radical healing approach to shame. They have written a gem of a book that anybody can read, understand, relate to, and apply to themselves, to clients, to loved ones. Expect to learn, expect to have ‘aha’ moments, expect to be moved, expect to be transformed.”—Diana Fosha, PhD, developer of AEDP, editor of Undoing Aloneness and the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing, and author of The Transforming Power of Affect
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Best book I’ve read in years
- By Webb on 02-24-19
By: Curt Thompson
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Reverse Meditation
- How to Use Your Pain and Most Difficult Emotions as the Doorway to Inner Freedom
- By: Andrew Holecek
- Narrated by: Andrew Holecek
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Reverse Meditation is for anyone who wants to bring the challenges of life onto the path of awakening. When things get hard, it’s time to turn your practice on its head—and throw out any assumption that meditation exists to insulate you from the confusion, difficulties, and uncertainty of life. “By putting your meditation into reverse,” Holecek teaches, “you’ll actually find yourself going forward. Step into your pain and you can step up your evolution.”
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Life Changing Material
- By Azeem Y Sitabkhan on 08-23-23
By: Andrew Holecek
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Healing the Shame That Binds You
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Healing the Shame That Binds You is the most enduring work of family relationship expert and New York Times best-selling author John Bradshaw. In it, he shows how unhealthy toxic shame, often learned young and maintained into adulthood, is the core component in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and drive to superachieve.
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Wonderful information
- By Mary on 12-18-11
By: John Bradshaw
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The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Shame
- Powerful DBT Skills to Cope with Painful Emotions and Move Beyond Shame
- By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, Kim L. Gratz PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Shame is a devastating emotion, and one that's often difficult to work through. If you are hurting, you should know that you aren't alone. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Shame offers a step-by-step evidence-based approach to healing from shame using the core skills of emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. You'll learn to cultivate nonjudgmental self-acceptance, and discover strategies for managing difficult emotions—even in situations that trigger feelings of shame, guilt, or self-directed anger.
By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, and others
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Polyvagal Practices
- Anchoring the Self in Safety
- By: Deb Dana
- Narrated by: Leslie Howard
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Here, for the first time, is a layperson's explanation of polyvagal theory, an approach to mental health and well-being that has taken the clinical world by storm. A polyvagal approach to life is based on the knowledge that the autonomic nervous system is shaped by early experience and reshaped with ongoing experience. This short book will offer an overview for nonspecialists and provide a series of exercises and meditations (practices) that will allow listeners to tune into their nervous systems, providing calming prompts to build and strengthen ventral vagal connections.
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Must Pay twice for this book if you get the audio
- By Bill on 06-09-23
By: Deb Dana
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Trauma and the Unbound Body
- The Healing Power of Fundamental Consciousness
- By: Judith Blackstone PhD
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Heal trauma. Reclaim your body. Live with wholeness. These are the gifts of utilizing the power of fundamental consciousness-a subtle field of awareness that lies within each of us. In Trauma and the Unbound Body, Dr. Judith Blackstone explores how we can resolve the mental, physical, and emotional struggles of trauma through the power of fundamental consciousness.
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don't buy if you are hoping to use it for practice
- By Greg Jarmiolowski on 01-23-22
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Soul Without Shame
- A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within
- By: Byron Brown, A.H. Almaas - Foreword
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we call it the inner critic, superego, or just plain nag, most of us have a "judge within" who's constantly on our case. A comprehensive guide to understanding how the inner critic works, this book offers practical, positive suggestions for breaking free of it. Using straightforward language and examples from everyday life, Byron Brown shows: Where the inner judge came from. How it operates. Why it trips us up. Why we believe we need it. How to develop awareness of it. How to disengage from it.
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So wonderful!!!
- By Penny Godwin on 01-19-17
By: Byron Brown, and others
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The Inner Bonding Workbook
- Six Steps to Healing Yourself and Connecting with Your Divine Guidance
- By: Margaret Paul PhD, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Erin deWard
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us long for spiritual connection and divine guidance - the wisdom and ability to make decisions that benefit ourselves and the greater good. But we've been conditioned to think and act selfishly, in ways that limit our access to the divine, with false, programmed beliefs that often result in suffering, addictive behaviors, and spiritual disconnection. The Inner Bonding Workbook can help you heal your psychic wounds and move beyond false limitations to achieve at-will, moment-by-moment connection with the divine.
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Great Book if your ready to change your life for
- By Donna & Benne on 09-24-22
By: Margaret Paul PhD, and others
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Unlearning Shame
- How We Can Reject Self-Blame Culture and Reclaim Our Power
- By: Devon Price PhD
- Narrated by: Devon Price PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Systemic Shame is the socially engineered self-loathing that says we are solely to blame for our circumstances. It teaches that our consumption is moral and personal choice is our only tool of change. Systemic Shame tells us that poverty is remedied by hard-working people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, that marginalized people are responsible for their own oppression, and that massive global crises like climate change can be solved by switching to paper straws. When we inevitably blame ourselves for failing to do enough to combat structural injustices, we feel Systemic Shame.
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Yes!
- By PaulC on 05-07-24
By: Devon Price PhD
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Setting Boundaries That Stick
- How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered
- By: Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT
- Narrated by: Daniela Acitelli
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you struggle to set boundaries with others in your life? Has your past conditioned you to expect pushback when setting boundaries, or caused you to give up on trying to set boundaries altogether? The prospect of setting boundaries can be scary and intimidating and can put you in a very vulnerable place where your mental health and wellbeing may even be at risk. There is a science to creating boundaries—one that will empower you, deepen your connection with others, and improve your self-esteem. Setting Boundaries That Stick offers a scientific, neurobiological approach to boundary work.
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Fantastic information, easy to follow steps
- By Anne James on 05-30-24
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Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection
- 50 Client-Centered Practices
- By: Deb Dana
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Deb Dana is the foremost translator of polyvagal theory into clinical practice. Here, in her third book on this groundbreaking theory, she provides therapists with a grab-bag of polyvagal-informed exercises for their clients, to use both within and between sessions. These exercises offer readily understandable explanations of the ways the autonomic nervous system directs daily living.
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Too academic to be useful
- By Zoinks on 01-04-21
By: Deb Dana
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The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other
- Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysis, 79
- By: James Hollis
- Narrated by: Steve Owens
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The Eden Project is a timely and thought-provoking corrective to the generalized fantasies about relationships that permeate our culture. This is not a practical guide on how to fix a relationship, but rather a challenge to greater personal responsibility in relationships, a call for individual growth as opposed to seeking rescue through others.
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Ten Stars
- By Michael on 05-21-24
By: James Hollis
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The Antidote
- Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
- By: Oliver Burkeman
- Narrated by: Oliver Burkeman
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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The Antidote is a series of journeys among people who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. What they have in common is a hunch about human psychology: that it’s our constant effort to eliminate the negative that causes us to feel so anxious, insecure, and unhappy. And that there is an alternative "negative path" to happiness and success that involves embracing the things we spend our lives trying to avoid.
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The Antidote explores the negative path.
- By Bonny on 05-15-14
By: Oliver Burkeman
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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An Autobiography of Trauma
- A Healing Journey
- By: Peter A. Levine
- Narrated by: Christopher Salazar
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In this intimate memoir, renowned developer of Somatic Experiencing, Peter A. Levine—the man who changed the way psychologists, doctors, and healers understand and treat the wounds of trauma and abuse—shares his personal journey to heal his own severe childhood trauma and offers profound insights into the evolution of his innovative healing method.
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Great book
- By cernatteodor on 05-03-24
By: Peter A. Levine
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What listeners say about Embracing Shame
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JK
- 12-11-23
Amazing Listen!
I'm so excited for this book, not only are Bret & Sheila's methods to help clients deal with their internalized toxic shame revolutionary, but emotional health and healthy shame are one of the foundational pieces to healing. This book will change how you view shame, as we tend to vilify it because it doesn't feel good, but shame as the social construct 'master' emotion helps us to reconnect in our bodies, heal from trauma and understand and attune to our needs on a fundamental level. Transforming toxic, pervasive shame into healthy shame bit by bit, is such a powerful, stunning experience!
Easy to understand and assimilate, well-written and beyond helpful in our journey, Embracing Shame is a must-listen if you are looking to live your fullest, most authentic life!
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- Gary Muszynski
- 12-02-23
Masterful guidance for a difficult topic
I wish i had a book like this 10 years ago! It fills in blanks that really impacted my healing. And the stories make it very human. The reader did a great job - expressive and sensitive.
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- Bay Area
- 10-24-23
Get this audiobook
Very good and not to be missed. Understanding shame is so important. To heal yourself then you must deal with your shame.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Laurie A.
- 04-06-24
A Transformational Book
This book gives the listener a pathway out of shame. It is written with Compassion and Heart, and has the power to set its listener free from the binds of shame. The reader captures the emotional tone (Acceptance, Empathy, Compassion) that Sheila and Brett bring to their trainings, which made it a joy to listen to. Personal and clinical stories make it engaging and relatable. Such an important book for anyone living with shame (all of us?) or helping others to work with theirs.
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